Your Mess is Mine. 125 Days.
I will preface this with the guilt I feel. Someone close to me has a drinking problem. He tried to stop drinking. He went to rehab. He goes to AA. But, he is still drinking. That is all I will say about that. But, when he started his recovery, I did not understand. I just thought I could drink around him because he'd made a decision for himself purely, not for the rest of us. That is not the way it works. Choosing to drink is a decision while an addiction is not a choice. Anyway, I drank around him. Blah blah, life's a bitch, and so am I.
Fast forward to me about to go to rehab. I turned to my 2 closest friends. I said, "I don't know about this. Can you imagine a life of never drinking again? Can you imagine a summer of sitting on a patio without a beer or glass of wine? I just do not see how I am going to enjoy anything again."
Here is the shocker. Both of these people said, "yes" and gave me a funny look. They can and could always imagine a life without alcohol. They had zero problems never drinking around me again. It is amazing. It is crazy. And, it is the way it is supposed to work. If you cannot imagine a life without something, it probably means you rely on it too much. It stops being something you just do for fun. It becomes something you have to have for status quo.
So, today, I wake up grateful. I am grateful that when I said, "I cannot drink anymore"...my boyfriend made my mess his and stopped drinking. My best friend immediately stopped drinking around me. The truth is, they never needed it. They never even finished their drinks. I always finished their drinks for them after I finished 1-10 of my own.
I urge you. Find your support system. Find people that do not tell you all of the wrong you do. Find the people that encourage you and remind you of what you are doing right. And, do right.
This mess was yours,
Now your mess is mine.