How to Drink a Glass of Wine...
Thanksgiving is here. Yay. Pull out the coping skills to get through the season. It has always been a game of survival during the holidays. I used to come armed with wine to survive. Drinking to relax. Drinking to get through the constant tension. Drinking to get through the anxiety of not knowing how the intense planning will turn out on the day of the family get-together. Just drinking to get through anything and to get through nothing. I was handed this from a work colleague 2 days before Thanksgiving. She said, "You're cooking a turkey this year? I have the best instructions...I've been doing it this way for years."
"How to Roast a Turkey."
STEP 1: DEFROST TURKEY
STEP 2: DRINK A GLASS OF WINE.
STEP 3: PLACE TURKEY IN OVEN.
STEP 4: DRINKING ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE.
STEP 5: PREHEAT THE DEGREE AT 400 OVENS.
STEP 6: DRINK TWO MORE WINE OF GLASSES.
STEP 7: ROAST THE WINE FOR FOUR HOURS.
STEP 8: GLASS YOURSELF A WINE OF POUR.
STEP 9: TUFF THE STURKEY.
STEP 10: BLESS THE MEAL AND CALL A CAB.
This is a fine example of how we glorify alcohol to make it seem like it is fun. It is a good laugh. It is an honest laugh. I can say that I cooked a turkey sans "wine drinking" instructions this year. I enjoyed myself sans alcohol. And, I lost in a mean game of Pictionary while completely sober. Happy Thanksgiving to all. Santa Clause is coming to town.