Don't Compare, Identify
I have always been ok with not comparing myself to others. I do not try and keep up with the Jones' and I certainly do not want to the be the best at anything I try. I am kind of a "middle of the road" sort of gal. I have used this approach in my sobriety, also. I read blogs. I get excited for people doing well and I am sad for those who struggle. But, just because Jo-Jo ended up crying in the toilet on day 55 it does not mean I can expect that. I was told at an early stage of recovery that I should not compare my journey to the person next to me. We all have different stressors and different timelines of recovery.
I have googled my poop and sleep in hopes of figuring out what happens next when you stop drinking. I needed to know when I could get both back on schedule and start pooping again. You know what I found out? Everyone is different. There are commonalities, but your timeline is always different. This is the same with EVERYTHING. Feelings, aches, cravings, strength, weakness...they all change when they change. I cannot say I will be able to go to a bar and not drink because Jo-Jo did it at 60 days. There is no guidebook.
Although I cannot compare my journey to others, I can certainly identify with the way people feel. I felt confident in my pink cloud. I was secure with my sobriety for 6 months. I had ups and downs during my first 6 months, but never the sort of downs that left me holding a bottle debating whether or not to drink again. My pink cloud lasted 6 months. Some fall off of their pink cloud in weeks, some in years. You cannot compare how long your confidence will last to another addict, but you can identify with the feelings. However low you feel after the confidence waivers, I can identify.
I can tell you that for every feeling you have, there is an addict who can identify. And we like to hear ourselves talk...so go identify at a meeting. Just don't let anyone tell you when and how you will feel on your recovery journey. Don't be expecting on day 100 to be free and clear and for cravings to cease. Don't think at day 30 you'll be able to stop crying. Don't give yourself someone else's timeline. Just live. ONE DAY AT A TIME. And, raise your hand.