All Bitches Love Mudslides
I was sitting at a bar in San Francisco ordering a glass of red wine and a $20 cheeseburger. As a flight attendant, your layovers are sometimes too short to stay in a hotel downtown where there are restaurants available. You are limited to an airport hotel where it is either too dangerous or too far to walk anywhere but the hotel restaurant. There is ALWAYS a hotel bar at the restaurant.
My usual alcoholic routine was to order a cheeseburger at the bar. While it was being prepared, I would have 1-4 glasses of my favorite dry red and take a glass to my room along with the cheeseburger. I would take off all of my clothes and nosh while watching TV. I could never fall asleep unless I was tipsy.
On this particular night, I had two glasses of Cotes du Rhone and was paying the bill when a gentleman sent over a "Mudslide." I was disgusted. Who drinks a Mudslide? The Mudslide included a message, "You look like a girl who could use a Mudslide."
I judged him. Alcoholics would never drink a Mudslide when there is a full bar. Correction: we would not choose a Mudslide over ANY other option, but eventually would choose a Mudslide if nothing else was available. I would have gladly taken a glass of dry wine or a Martini. The difference between a Martini and a Mudslide for all of you non-alcoholics, you ask? A Martini is 3 ounces of straight alcohol in a 3 ounce drink versus a Mudslide is 1 ounce in an 8 ounce drink. Percentage difference, A Martini=100% alcohol, a Mudslide is about 12% alcohol. In other words, I would be too full to get the amount of alcohol I needed after a 2,000 calorie ice cream drink. I judged him for not being more intuitive and asking the bartender what I was drinking or looking at what was in front of me. I judged him for not using good judgement in the alcohol I would drink. I judged him for not knowing that a Mudslide is for p@$$ies.
What I think now. He judged me. He was right. I looked like a "girl who just needed a Mudslide." I looked like an alcoholic. Nah, I'm giving him too much credit. He was just thinking "all bitches love mudslides."