Traffic Trigger Twinkle Twinkle
Sometimes you need a 5 year old to point out the crazy. My niece is 5 and she is leaps and bounds more intelligent than I am. I have 7 months sober and sometimes I need the simple bits of life explained to me. Today, we set out driving just before rush hour traffic together. She was in her carseat in the back and I was in the driver's seat.
One of my serious triggers is traffic. It sounds menial. But, hey, our triggers are our triggers. About a month out of rehab, it took me an hour to drive one mile and my autopilot turned on and I ended up sitting in my car crying my eyes out in front of a liquor store. Ugly tears. Drag me out of my car by my feet and throw me in the backseat of your car in the fetal position and drive me to a loony bin tears. Thankfully, my cravings only lasted about 20 minutes that day before I could think straight again and remember I just spent multiple thousand dollars getting sober. Thankfully I had a sober friend that could talk me out of it and offered to come get me. Thankfully I can choose the time of day I drive on the highway. I live my life thankfully now. Chock full of gratitude.
So, here is what happened today. We set out right before rush hour. But, things happened. A little girl needed to peepee and we had to use about 30 minutes finding a place to go off of the toll road. Then, my GPS rerouted us because the rain started to pour. Then, we ended up on a highway with way too many people and dead stopped traffic. I exited because after another hour/one mile someone needed to peepee again. So, pulling out of the shell station, I had to turn left. The traffic was non-stop. I was going to have to turn right. I refused. So, of course I was doing the PC version of flipping everyone off and screaming profanities. No one would let me squeeze by to go left. So, I was honking like the city-girl I've become in Chicago.
Then, I heard the voice of a little angel that peepees every 5 minutes. She said, "You get what you get, so don't throw a fit." Then, she sang me Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the voice of a dog. I smiled and thought, wow, I am being crazy. Then, I sang Twinkle Twinkle like a frog would.
"You get what you get, so don't throw a fit."
-5 year old