Who Would Want a Root Canal? Me

I am crazy about keeping my teeth squeaky clean.  I am curious if the lakes of red wine I drank in the last 15 years actually helped the strength of my teeth.  I frequently passed out drunk without brushing.  You'd think sugar equals cavities, but not in my case.  I had one cavity that swiftly got a filling last year. It has never felt 100% after my filling, but I was doped on whatever I could legally take last year that it didn't bother me much.  Fast forward to now, I am clean and sober.  I feel the tooth.  Correction: I feel everything plus the tooth.  It feels like a tiny man moved into said tooth and is renovating his home.

Here's how I know I am a crazy of epic proportions.  My mind got excited that I might get a root canal.  It hurts like hell and my first thought when I felt the pain was, "I bet I get something good after my root canal."  WTF is that?  I should be scared of a root canal.  My addict mind now gets excited about painkillers?  That's new.  I understand Xanax.  I get alcohol.  I want Valium.  I could go for a muscle relaxer and a bottle of wine to wash all of these pills down.  But, I have not ever liked Hydrocodone or whatever else you can get after dental work.  It just isn't my thing.  There it went again when I listed the drugs.  Excitement.   

In rehab, they posed a question to our group.  "Can you continue using another drug if it is not your drug of choice?"  They did not give us a definitive yes/no answer.  A lot of people said they were going to continue smoking weed.  Some said, "I don't have a problem with alcohol, just painkillers."  I just stared at a wall and thought hmmmm all of this sounds like a good day watching Netflix and SERIOUSLY chilling. 

Here's the answer.  Someone who likes altering their mind with one substance will like any substance.  My mind craves an escape.  My body is physically hurting because of this tooth and you'd think that fixing the physical pain I feel would be my want.  Nope.  My mind thinks, "good thing we have this physical pain so we can squash our psychological pain with some pills."  

Ibuprofen and I are ready.  Well, Ibuprofen is ready.  I am taking it one day at a time. 


7th MonthAPRIL