7 Things I've Learned in 7 Months Sober

1.  I have an SOBER identity.  

I've learned to identify with my positive traits instead of my negative traits.  Something happened after the first 3 months that made me lose touch with feeling like an addict that was always playing offense to her addiction.  I do not identify with that anymore.  I am not saying that I do not play offense when caught off guard, but generally I operate with defense.  I live a sober life.  I identify with being SOBER...not an addict.  I protect my sobriety because it has started being a part of me.  Not the biggest part.  But, a strong part of my lifestyle.

2.  We rise by lifting others.  

I try to inspire hope in everyone I meet.  I associate with people who do the same.  I am selective in my friends.  I respect my friends and would not associate with someone that was not a good person.  Quality over quantity on this one.

3.  I have BOUNDARIES.  

I am actively learning to say no to people at work, at home, to friends, to acquaintances...you get it.  The answer is no sometimes.  I am still actively trying to say no without following the no with an excuse or an apology.  You cannot do it all.  This is ok.  

4. I can let sadness be sadness.  

I am not squashing bad feelings.  I am letting myself feel them and cry or feel them and be angry.  I surprise myself every time I have a feeling.  It is a new thing for me to absorb so much.  Instead of being scared of my feelings like I was,  I am excited because it is an opportunity to learn from them.  I am surrounding myself with people who forgive me for being a basket-case most of the time.  

5.  I am planning for a future instead of living day to day.  

I have been counting days sober for a long time and have recently begun to stop counting as much.  I checked my counter today...229 days.  Woot woot.  I believe in approaching things one day at a time and living in the present when it comes to anxiety and control.  But, this is where I differ from AA.  I am making future plans.  I have a yearly planner.  I am setting goals in the near and far future.  AA rules are very strict about when you can do things in your first year, which I do not 100% agree with.  I believe everyone is an individual and everyone has his/her own recovery timeline.  But, me, I am sober for the past me, present me, and future me.  

6.  My family is hard to be around.  

I mean, SERIOUSLY.  I have a lovely family, but I never realized what a role they played in my alcohol abuse.  I am thankful to say that with 7 months behind me, I can sit in the living room while my loved one downs x glasses of wine watching TV.  I can mention to them that it is not good their health and I can handle it when they discount my opinions.  I can just drink Diet Coke and go to bed.  

7.  I am happy.

 I feel everything.  But, I am definitely happy.  

7th MonthAPRIL