Addict and Alcoholic Labels. Blegh.
I have been thinking a lot about my identity lately. I've always been a people watcher, but now I am observing how people identify themselves, too. With bloggers, it is interesting to see how people talk about themselves. It reveals their truth. A lot of the time their handles or their webpage names are what they directly associate with their personal identities.
I was reading a blog the other day where someone called herself "Harvard____" This is what she turns to when she reveals herself to the world. She is proud of her education and she wants people to recognize her as all of the things that come with it. She chooses to reveal that part of herself to the world. Maybe it reveals to the world that she is intelligent, wealthy, or values prestige. Maybe it reveals nothing. I don't know, I most assuredly did not go to Harvard. If I associated my identity with my university, it would be...Affordable April.
Here is a common identity in recovery that people choose that is interesting. "Addict____" Let's just say addictannie. These people that choose to label themselves as addicts are, in my opinion, identifying with a negative quality about themselves. They are identifying with a problem instead of a solution. I want to hug these people and say, "There is so much more to you, addictannie."
Now, we get to my people. These are the SoberAnnies of the world. They are blunt and put sobriety out there so that others who share a lifestyle can find them. They identify with a healthy lifestyle and they are proud of the positive lifestyle they've chosen. Toot that sober horn, Sober Annie. You've earned it.
And, you know this is all just the opinion of a mad woman, right? I completely named my webpage "SoberUpButtercup" because it is cheeky. I identify with finding the humor in everything. It is why I am open about my history. I didn't get the embarrassment gene-only the laugh it off gene. My identity comes from not being able to pinpoint what I identify with. Am I a nice girl? Am I a bad girl poking fun? Am I talking to myself and being introspective when I say "Buttercup?" Am I being directive because I am a boss babe? Am I calling you "Buttercup," bearded tattooed motorcycle man? Abso-fucking-lutely is the answer to all of the questions.
The truth is, I identify with helping. "Sober Up, Buttercup" is a way for me to gently tell the world that I am here to help. I am talking to you. I am talking to me. I am just talking for the sake of talking. I don't like silence. Someone needs to about this thing called ADDICTION that sucks so many of us into a drunken oblivion. And, that someone is you, Buttercup.
I am just a helper. I can't help helping. But, I wouldn't have called my webpage HelperApril. It would've been HellofaHelper. FYI.