It Dawned on Me. Sobriety is Beautiful.
I watched the sunrise this morning. I did not want to get up at 4 am. I wished a thousand times over that I was snug in my bed. But, alas, I am a working girl and when duty calls, I must answer. On the airplane, early this morning, we boarded in the dark. We taxied in the dark. The passengers were asleep, in the dark. Our takeoff was smooth and fast. Our pilots and crew were perfectly caffeinated for our early morning. I stare down the aisle as a flight attendant. I face aft (toward the rear of the aircraft) and the people face forward. I sat and stared at 150 passengers sleeping on this early morning flight. Everyone was peaceful and I was envious of their eyes being closed. I looked out the window and saw the sun rising over Mt. Rainier.
We are at a steady climb. You can feel the pressure of the earth pulling you toward it as the airplane climbs to its cruising altitude. The lull summons you to peace. The dark is soothing. We reach the clouds. The dark slowly turns from pink to a fiery red. The passengers are still asleep, but you see the glow on 150 anxiety-free resting faces. The red dissipates into a warm orange. It feels warm even though the temp outside is in the negatives. Everyone slowly wakes with the sunrise. It is not a rude awakening. It is a slow journey from peace to wake and I get to watch it happen to 100+ people. Why would I have wanted to miss this? It is beautiful. I am not hungover. I am alert.
Then, it dawned on me. Pun intended. I might not have wanted to get up early. But, I can appreciate the wonderful experience that came with it. In sobriety, I often wonder if I wanted to quit drinking. Was it a decision I made to better my life, or was it something I had to do because I have a problem with alcohol? The answer: IT DOESN'T MATTER. Whether your choice to become sober was independent or unavoidable does not matter. What matters is how you look at life every day. I am sober now. I look at sobriety as beautiful because it is. Are there people that drink that have beautiful lives? Yes. There is beauty in every journey. Be mindful. Be the good. I found my gratitude through my grogginess this morning. And, for my sober life, I am thankful.