Don't Quit Before the Miracle Happens at a Year and a Half Sober
Don't quit before the miracle happens. They say. So, I didn't.
A year and a half sober: Doubt falls away and things become much clearer.
I am still not comfortable calling my joys and changes "miracles." My relationship is good. My body is healthy. My mind is more sane. I can honestly say that the changes inside of me have been 100% a result of my sobriety, effort, and hard hard work. I DID IT. Me, myself and I. Just kidding, I had tons of help. I listen to anyone willing to speak to me. Plus my higher power and I chat now. But, here is how I took the reigns of change into my own hands. The old me would've told everyone to stick their advice where the sun doesn't shine. I decided not to reject change. I made a choice. I absorbed advice. I related to others. I grew.
Me, myself and I allowed change. Now, I am getting better emotionally, physically, and mentally. I'm not great. I'm not perfect. I'm not winning any awards. But, if you compare my old insides to my new insides...I got a remodel and it was most definitely an upgrade in mind, body, and soul.
Everyone says, “don't quit before the miracle happens." So I started waiting on the miracle. I wondered when these things that I didn't have to work so hard for would show up. I don't know what I was imagining, maybe it was happiness or unicorns. Money never started falling from the sky. I did not become genius level status with all of the answers. I didn't suddenly have children or a family. I am still just me, working on me. But, last night I sat down and thought about it. I enjoy my sober life. I love the people around me. I feel content being present inside my head. But, my miracles? What are they? I work hard for everything in my life. Nothing has ever been handed to me, especially in recovery.
Then it hit me...We aren't waiting on a super shiny miracle. One day we just realize we are the miracle. I have the ability to change, adapt to a healthier lifestyle, and live and grow in the present. That's freakin' miraculous.
I am a dang miracle. You are a gosh dang miracle, too.