Where is Reality? It is NOT on Social Media.


I listen to a lot of people talk about sobriety. They talk about enlightenment. They speak of 'aha' moments that were blessings. I had them. Mine didn't ever look like a bright light I was supposed to walk toward. One of my 'aha' moments was a bartender saying "not again, April."

I saw a lot of "pre-sobriety" vs "sobriety" transformation posts on social media when I first got sober. The people in sobriety were posting pics and saying, "look how gross I was back then and how good I look now." I never thought, "yuck she looked gross and now she looks shiny and brand new." I never bought into advertising sobriety. All I thought when I saw these posts was, "where can I get my hands on a french red?" I don't have that visceral reaction to seeing wine anymore, thank the big ol' higher power above. But, you know what is still a trigger for me even a year into sobriety...glamorizing sobriety. Sober life is not sunshine and rainbows like a lot of people throw out there online. Where is the reality, people?

It is NOT on social media. Social media is a creation. People create a persona on social media and only display what they want to the world. It is not REALITY. It is unhealthy to constantly share that you are experiencing only the best of life. It effects others. It has a profound effect on real peoples' psyches. Equally as bad is talking only about the negatives in life. In other words, no one wants to see open wounds and prayer requests all day every day. For fuck's sake, if you're relapsing every 10 days...that's just drinking. I feel bad for you, but I also think, "let me call a whambulance. Let's not whine and let's figure out how to get you out of this endless cycle."


I cannot censor things that are gross and not pretty. I cannot glamorize my sober life. I cannot glamorize my road to sobriety. Is my life better now that I am sober? Absofuckinglutely. But, it is nowhere close to perfect. I consciously feel sad. I did not feel sad before. I didn't feel anything. Today I feel so incredibly sad that I cannot breathe. I know this will pass as all emotions do. It is not always a beautiful day. Some days are dark. It rains. It pours. Today it is hailing.  

It is ok to have a little crazy up in your life. Keep it contained. Keep it classy. Screw it, I wouldn't know classy or contained if it bit me on my bum. Just don't drag anyone else down with the crazy. I definitely have a lot more honesty in sobriety. Not just to others, to myself. That's the goal. Be authentic. That's where reality is. Also, follow me on instagram. Just kidding.

12th MonthAPRIL