9 Things I've Learned in 9 Months Sober

1.  I am still working on trusting myself.  

My anxiety supplies me constant self doubt.  But, I am slowly overcoming this.  Or, am I?  

2.  I cry a lot.  

This was not a "beginning of recovery" thing for me.  It has lasted steadily into my 9th month.  I cried after a long day the other day for no reason aside from me being a little stressed and tired.  I cried when I heard a sad song.  I cried when I was hungry.  You get it, I cry a lot.

3. I cannot drink non-alcoholic beer.  

Enough said.  I just wanted more more more.  Kudos to those of you who can.  I am not one of those people.  

4. I am filled with quite a bit of jealousy and negativity.  

I am working on this daily.  I get quite frustrated hearing that there are only sunshine and rainbows in recovery.  It is actually a very hard journey that has a lot of peaks and valleys.  I am learning to walk through my valleys without letting it take me completely into a place of sadness and negativity. 

5.  Radical honesty is very liberating.  

Being from the south, I learned it is impolite to talk about your feelings, poop, and money.  But, in recovery I am talking about all three.  Your poop takes a while to get back to normal when you quit drinking.  Your feelings are a constant flow.  And, you save oodles of money!  It is about $20-$40 a day that I've stopped spending.  Rollin',

6.  I am taken by pride instead of shame now.

Having pride in yourself and your lifestyle is what keeps you sober. The pride translates into all of your decisions. The shame of your past disappears. It is pride that I found a new way of life that fits me. 

7.  My humor has returned.

 I am able to laugh at recovery jokes and myself.  Life is funny.  I am just a one woman show. 

8.  I am holding things more loosely.

 Instead of letting the stressors of life drive me to a place where I am frustrated or upset, I can let things happen without letting it drive me crazy.  When the dog pukes on the new rug immediately after we put it down, I can smile at the misfortune and clean it up.    

9.  Before I love someone else, I've got to love myself.


9th MonthAPRIL