I Fell Into Addiction Again, Shopping Addiction

In my 5th month sober, I was really into introspection. I saw what had happened to me with alcohol from outside the addiction and withdrawl. I saw my battles with control clearly. I am very glad I shared my viewpoint of how to know when you are addicted because it is an easy thing to slip into, addiction. I just re-read my post. I went in, I substituted the word shopping for drinking. I had an Aha, well, f-me, moment where I am cognizant of the fact that I am addicted to shopping. I have a problem.  I took the 3 signs you might be an alcoholic and applied it to my shopping. 

1.  YOU START MAKING RULES FOR YOUR (SHOPPING.)

I am only going to shop once a week. I am only going to buy something if I throw one thing out. I did it. I do it. I am guilty of making rules for my addiction, again.

2.  YOU SET A GOAL TO ABSTAIN FROM (shopping) FOR A PERIOD OF TIME.

This is a big one.  I said to myself, "I am going to take a year off from shopping for clothes." I made it one day until I needed a pair of shorts with pineapples on them. One day. Not a week. A day. This is incredibly similar to my drinking. 

3.  YOU CHANGE YOUR DRUG OF CHOICE.

I don't have a problem shopping for anything but clothes...so I buy a rug. It is only shoes...you get it. It is buying material things. I shouldn't have to tell myself I have an over-shopping problem with anything. I should be able to control myself. But, at one point, I bought a table that did not fit in the living room. We moved it so many places and it caused many fights because it was unnecessary. It was a want. It was something I had to have spur of the moment. The gratifying part came in buying it, not using it.

We all try to control an addiction before it takes over. I did with wine. I have with shopping. But, is shopping exactly like alcohol? No. Why does it feel so similar? I think with shopping, it is the feeling that I enjoy. It relaxes me...like wine. It takes the boredom feeling away....like wine. It is something I do with other girls...like wine.  Wait, but shopping isn't wine? Why does it feed the same feelings wine did? That is the way it has been marketed to women of my generation...like social lubricant, like medication and therapy, like wine. My shopping behavior is like my drinking behavior enough that I know how to fix the problem. I am going to follow the same structure that I had with my drinking. I am going to build a toolbox and abstain. Now what can I buy to put in my toolbox? Just kidding. 

Love

*Note: Quitting drinking alcohol is soooo much harder than quitting shopping. It is in the addictive behavior that is similar...I won't get DT's if I give up my weekly candle buying obsession.  

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10th Month, 11 MonthsAPRIL