Mental Illness and Addiction Effects Adoption?
I make jokes that I should have not wasted all of that money on birth control, I should have had more sex in the back of a Volkswagen when I was a teen, or that my face looks young, but my ovaries are pushing forty. These are not jokes. There is a real struggle for some people, like me, to have children. What comes easy to some is a huge feat for others. The inability to have children comes from many aspects: waiting too long, medical issues, issues that are unknown, unable to find a partner, not enough money to adopt, and a plethora of other reasons. Ultimately all result in a lack of children. Children do not make your life fulfilling, I truly believe this. But, if it is one of your goals in life to have children and it is not possible to meet this goal, it is a void inside of you. Not all people that don't have children want children. That's great. Not all people that want children have children. That's not great. Not all people who have children want them. That's super not great.
But, this is the icing on the cake. A history of mental health problems or addiction could squash your dreams for adoption. I truly do not have a need to see my genetic material reproduced. I don't think I am that great. I think having a child that doesn't need as much sunscreen as blond haired blue eyed me needs would be ideal in all due honesty. So, I would lean toward adoption even if I was not struggling to have them myself. But, a history of addiction and psychological problems makes it harder to adopt? What?!? Yes. By admitting your flaws and seeking help, you actually put a little red flag in your medical history that says, "she is not the best mother." Then, they scroll to the next "better mother." I would've been better off not going to rehab. I would've been better off not getting diagnosed with anxiety and taking medication for it. I would've been a better mother as the old drunkard me? NO WAY ROSÉ.
I would not have been. I wasn't a shit show. I was responsible. I never had any legal or employment issues due to my addiction. But, I was touching death and lost hours of memory on too many occasions back then. I was an over-drinker. But, I was good at it. One day I just would've not woken up. I WOULD NOT have been a better mother.
I am not going to pour any wine into the empty void and that is a huge sign of emotional stability. This is growth. This is perspective. And, ultimately, this ability to deal with emotions and disappointment is what would make a great mother. So, if your dreams are to adopt-keep trying. We are capable of doing difficult things. And, THAT is a lesson that you'll be able to teach your children someday.
Excerpt from mentalhealth.org
"Certain medical or psychological conditions can also negatively affect the status of an adoption application. Conditions that reflect negatively on an applicant include...disabilities, mental illnesses, or addictions will also reflect negatively upon an application. The presence of one or more of these conditions may not automatically stop a person from adopting. The applicants will almost certainly have to provide additional medical information as well as letters from specialist physicians to document their appropriateness as adoptive parents in spite of existing medical or psychological conditions. This supplementary information may be shared with birth parents, making the selection process more difficult to pass through. There is a legitimate need for adoptive parents to be healthy enough to care for dependent children. It is not appropriate or ethical for applicants to lie about their health status in order to make themselves look good."